Problem from the Reader

Since I lost my job a few months ago, I haven’t been able to muster the drive to do, well, something. Now I came to the realization that perhaps what I perceived to be a pattern of behavior at work really applies to my entire life. Particularly: Unless under pressure or given a lot of duty, I stumble. I find it strange, but I first became aware of it when I was only a humble worker making the barest minimum to survive at my first job. I had a drowsy feeling. Although I was also a good worker, I finally received the promotion to manager. As soon as I felt in charge of something, everything for me changed. I immediately cared about what I was doing, did put in extra effort, and was deeply involved in all facets of it almost immediately. I adored it and developed into a fantastic worker. Since then, every job has been the same: I can hardly accomplish anything unless someone is truly depending on me to control something crucial.

My spouse earns enough money to support us, and I’ve never really been in a situation where my financial commitment is crucial. I didn’t realize that perhaps it’s making me feel pointless, depriving my life of the duty I long for.

The fact that identifying the issue doesn’t support is, in my opinion, the biggest issue. Even though I am aware that I would begin to return to my normal soul if I simply forced myself to look for employment, volunteer work, or ANYTHING that would encourage those feelings of duty, it doesn’t help. I simply didn’t look to give a damn. How then do I end the period? And why do I need stress so much that I never just thrive under it?

Response from a psychologist

You seem to have realized how anxiety is very similar to an ocean storm. We search for the ideal storm, just like surfers, one that isn’t too strong or too weak to support us land straight on our boards. When we are under too much stress, we frequently succumb to the flood or lose our ground before achieving our objective. Often we simply stay away from the sturdy storm out of concern that we will fall and fail. On the other hand, when pressure is too low, we frequently lack the impulse to accomplish our objectives, and the influx tends to dissipate very quickly, which is what you appear to be going through.

However, I believe you’ve done some really good projecting and are starting to see patterns and requirements for a larger lake. The contact between your needs and your atmosphere is what isn’t working properly, not something inside of you. Additionally, I have a sneaking suspicion that the circumstances surrounding how your previous employment ended— which, it would seem, was not of your choosing— may be making it even harder for you to muster the motivation to worry.

Try website counseling to get physically matched.
( Read our crucial explanation below. )

When someone loses their job, it may frequently feel very much like grief. A job loss may result in a number of losses, such as the loss of construction, accountability, social contacts, and an everyday place to go. We frequently don’t think like ourselves when we are grieving after losing someone. We experience increased sluggishness, fatigue, changes in taste, loneliness, and problems interacting with others. Even more crippling can be the pressure to find a new career combined with these challenges. In these circumstances, it can be beneficial to discuss the damage with a trusted friend or mental health professional, take on more self-care, and discover ways to release the pressure of looking for work until you have considered the benefits and drawbacks of not having it right away.

Finding someone who specializes in technical guidance may also be beneficial after going through the grief process because many coaching psychologists have training in career assessment and growth. In order to find a great person-environment fit for you that will be more inspiring and motivating, an experienced professional may work with you to discover your interests, skills, and values. Finding something important and pleasant may be worth the time and effort for you right now because function is an essential component of our lives and our identities. As you consider possible career paths, it may be helpful to learn more about who you are and how you might grow on a larger wave.