Problem from the Reader

Since I lost my job a few months ago, I haven’t been able to muster the drive to do, well, everything. Now I came to the realization that my conduct may actually follow a pattern that I had observed at work. Particularly: Unless under pressure or given a lot of duty, I flounder. It seems contradictory to me, but I first became aware of it when I started working at the first task I ever had, where I was merely a humble worker making the barest minimum to survive. I had a drowsy feeling. Although I was also a good worker, I finally received the promotion to manager. As soon as I felt in charge of something, everything for me changed. I immediately cared about what I was doing, did put in extra effort, and was deeply involved in all facets of it almost immediately. I really developed into a fantastic staff because I loved it. Since then, every job has been the same: I can hardly accomplish anything unless someone is truly depending on me to manage something crucial.

My spouse earns enough money to support us, and I’ve always really felt the need to make a financial commitment. I didn’t realize that maybe it’s making me feel pointless, depriving me of the obligation I long for in life.

The biggest issue for me, although, is that acknowledging the issue is ineffective. Even though I am aware that if I simply forced myself to look for employment— a voluntary position, or ANYTHING that would encourage those feelings of obligation— I would begin to revert to my normal self, it doesn’t help. I simply don’t seem to give a damn. So how do I stop this routine? And why do I need stress more than just live under it?

Psychologist’s Response

You seem to have realized how similar strain is to an ocean wave. We search for the ideal storm, just like surfers, one that isn’t too strong or too weak to support us land straight on our boards. When the stress is very high, we frequently succumb to the flood or lose our footing before achieving our objective. For fear of failing and falling, we occasionally simply steer clear of the powerful storm. On the other hand, when pressure is too low, we frequently lack the speed to accomplish our objectives, and the influx fizzles out very quickly, which is what it appears you are going through.

However, I believe you’ve done some really good focusing and are starting to see trends and requirements for an sea with larger waves. The connection between your needs and your atmosphere is what isn’t working properly, not something inside of you. Additionally, I have a sneaking suspicion that the circumstances surrounding the termination of your previous job— which, it would seem, was not your decision— may be making it even harder for you to muster the motivation to worry.

Try website counseling to get physically matched.
( Read our crucial explanation below. )

When someone loses their job, it is frequently feel very much like grief. A job loss may result in a number of losses, such as the loss of construction, accountability, social contacts, and an everyday place to go. We frequently don’t think like ourselves when we are grieving after losing someone. We experience increased sluggishness, fatigue, changes in appetite, loneliness, and problems interacting with others. Perhaps more crippling can be the pressure to find a new career combined with these challenges. In these circumstances, it can be beneficial to discuss the damage with a trustworthy friend or mental health professional, to take better care of oneself, and to find ways to release the pressure of looking for work until you have considered what the task meant and what it means to not have it right now.

Finding a technical guidance specialist after experiencing grief may also be beneficial because many counseling psychologists have received training in technical assessment and development. A qualified professional can work with you to determine your interests, skills, and values in order to create a great person-environment fit for you that will be more motivating and encouraging. Finding something important and pleasant may be worth the time and effort for you right now because function is an essential component of our lives and our identities. As you consider possible career paths, it may be helpful to learn more about who you are and how you might grow on a larger wave.