Associations and Borderline Personality Disorder

Problem from the Reader

Although my psychologist acknowledges that I exhibit many of the signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder, I haven’t been in any intimate relationships because I know I’d make a terrible companion. Does not being in a marriage preclude me from having BPD?

The Psychologist’s Response

You can still have borderline personality disorder even if you haven’t been in a loving marriage. Relationships can be severely impacted by BPD, but this character condition is also accompanied by a number of other significant signs. The signs can range from mild to severe, but they typically include an unstable sense of self, risky or impulsive behaviors( often including spending, sex, suicide / self-injury, or even substance abuse ), significant mood swings, persistent emptiness, frequent outbursts of anger, and occasionally paranoia or feeling disconnected from the present. ( See the NIMH overview for more information on BPD. )

There are some BPD symptoms that can seriously harm a marriage. BPD sufferers frequently make severe, frantic attempts to prevent actual or imagined abandonment. Whether the condition is true or only feared, people with the illness are frequently extremely delicate and destroyed by the feelings that come with reduction and abandonment. They frequently struggle with these sentiments, which frequently result in bad behavior. When their companion is delayed for lunch or doesn’t promptly respond to a text, for instance, they might be excessively or badly unhappy. Through the use of pity, grief, and rage, deceptive efforts can be made to stop the other person from leaving out of fear of being abandoned or rejected. The very thing they were hoping to avoid, continual use, you quickly pull their companions away. High levels of mistrust can also be brought on by the fear of rejection and abandonment, which may prevent someone with BPD from actually wanting a marriage out of concern for experiencing those emotions. Some people with BPD have actually admitted that they would prefer to be by themselves rather than potentially deal with those problems in a relationship.

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BPD sufferers are also more likely to experience abrupt or extreme changes in how they view other people. For their companions, who frequently wonder if they are loved or hated by them, these shifting viewpoints can be very perplexing. They frequently want to spend all of their time with their carers or romantic partners, rapidly grow attached to them, and share their strong personal techniques earlier in the marriage, only to abruptly change and degrade the man. They might start to feel that the other person doesn’t care or place enough energy into the relationship, and they might rapidly grow suspicious of them. According to some reports, people with BPD exhibit patterns of brain activity linked to impairments in their capacity to recognize cultural norms or alter aggressive behaviors and reactions.

Despite these problems, there is cure accessible, such as developing interpersonal skills that can support a strong, healthy relationship. For those who struggle with the disorder, there are tried-and-true treatment options( such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy, or DBT, and Interpersonal or Relational Therapies ). In addition to these, lovers therapy can be helpful. Some people with BPD experience ongoing relationship sorrow and emotional problems over time, which makes them firmly believe that love and devotion are out of reach. Try not to accept that. People can obtain these priceless items, even those who have borderline personality disorder; all they need is dedication to treatment and colleagues who are willing to be patient.