Month: <span>August 2023</span>

Finding Job Desire

Query Your Own Problem!

Author’s Response

I recently lost my job, and ever since, I haven’t been able to muster the drive to do, well, something. Now I came to the realization that my actions may actually follow a pattern that I had observed at work. Specifically: Unless under pressure or given a lot of duty, I flounder. I find it strange, but I first became aware of it when I was only a humble worker making the barest minimum to survive at my first job. I had a drowsy feeling. However, I was still a respectable worker, and later I received the title of supervisor. As soon as I felt like I had command over something, everything for me changed. I started caring about what I was doing about immediately, had put in extra effort, and was actively involved in every aspect of it. I adored it and developed into a fantastic worker. Since then, every job has been the same: I can hardly accomplish anything unless someone is truly depending on me to manage everything crucial.

I’ve never really been in a situation where my financial commitment is essential, and my partner makes enough money to support us. I didn’t realize that maybe it’s making me feel pointless, and as a result, my life lacks the obligation I long for.

The biggest issue for me, although, is that acknowledging the issue is ineffective. Even though I am aware that if I simply forced myself to look for employment— a voluntary position, or ANYTHING that would encourage those feelings of responsibility— I would begin to revert to my normal self, it doesn’t help. I simply didn’t look to give a damn. How can I end the period then? And why do I need stress more than just live under it?

Response from a psychologist

You seem to have realized how many pressure resembles an ocean wave. We seek the ideal wave, similar to surfers, one that is neither too powerful nor too weak to help us land on our boards upright. When we are under too much stress, we frequently succumb to the storm or lose our foundation before achieving our objective. For fear of falling and failing, we occasionally simply avoid the strong flood entirely. On the other hand, when pressure is too low, we frequently lack the impulse to accomplish our objectives, and the influx tends to dissipate very quickly, which is what you appear to be going through.

However, I believe you’ve done some really good projecting and are starting to see patterns and requirements for a larger lake. The connection between your needs and your atmosphere is what isn’t working properly, not something inside of you. Additionally, I have a sneaking suspicion that the circumstances surrounding the termination of your previous career— which, it would seem, was not your decision— may be making it even harder for you to muster the motivation to worry.

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When someone loses their job, it is frequently think very much like grief. A job loss may result in a number of losses, such as the reduction of construction, accountability, social contacts, and an everyday place to go. We frequently don’t think like ourselves when we are grieving and experiencing a reduction. We experience increased sluggishness, fatigue, changes in appetite, feelings of isolation, or problems interacting with others. Even more crippling can be the pressure to find a new work combined with these challenges. In these circumstances, it can be beneficial to discuss the damage with a trustworthy friend or mental health professional, to take on more self-care, and to find ways to put the pressure of looking for work off until you’ve considered what the task meant and what it means to not have it right now.

Finding a counselor who specializes in technical guidance may be beneficial after going through the grief process because many coaching psychologists have training in career assessment and growth. In order to find a great person-environment that is more inspiring and motivating for you, an experienced professional may work with you to discover your interests, skills, and beliefs. Finding something important and pleasant may be worth the time and effort for you right now because work is a crucial component of our lives and identities. As you consider possible career paths, it may be helpful to learn more about who you are and how you might grow on a larger wave.

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Associations and Borderline Personality Disorder

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Ask Your Personal Problem!

Problem from the Reader

Although my psychologist acknowledges that I exhibit many of the signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder, I haven’t been in any intimate relationships because I know I’d make a terrible companion. Does not being in a marriage preclude me from having BPD?

Response from a psychologist

You can still have borderline personality disorder even if you haven’t been in a loving marriage. Relationships can be severely impacted by BPD, but this personality disorder is also accompanied by a number of other significant signs. The signs can range from mild to severe, but they typically include an unstable sense of self, risky or impulsive behaviors( often including spending, sex, suicide / self-injury, or even substance abuse ), significant mood swings, persistent emptiness, frequent outbursts of anger, and occasionally paranoia or feeling disconnected from the present. ( See the NIMH overview for more information on BPD. )

Sure BPD symptoms have the potential to seriously harm a marriage. BPD sufferers frequently make furious, extreme attempts to prevent actual or imagined abandonment. Whether the loss and abandonment are real or only feared, people with the problem are frequently extremely vulnerable and heartbroken by the feelings that accompany them. They frequently struggle with these sentiments, which frequently result in bad behavior. For instance, they might become excessively or improperly unhappy if their partner is delayed for lunch or doesn’t respond to their texts promptly. Through the use of sorrow, grief, and rage, deceptive efforts can be made to stop the other person from leaving out of fear of being abandoned or rejected. Consistent use can quickly drive their partners away, which is exactly what they wanted to avoid. High levels of mistrust can also be a result of the man with BPD’s fear of being rejected and abandoned, which may keep them from also wanting to be in relationships. Some people with BPD have actually admitted that they would prefer to be by themselves rather than potentially deal with those problems in a relationship.

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People with BPD are also more likely to experience abrupt or serious changes in how they view other people. For their companions, who frequently wonder if they are loved or despised by them, these shifting viewpoints can be very perplexing. They frequently want to spend all of their time with their romantic partners or caregivers, rapidly grow attached to them, and reveal their deepest secrets early in the marriage before abruptly changing and devaluing the people. They might start to feel that the other person doesn’t care or place enough energy into the relationship, and they might rapidly grow suspicious of them. According to some studies, people with BPD exhibit patterns of brain activity linked to impairments in their capacity to recognize cultural norms or alter aggressive behaviors and reactions.

Despite these problems, there is cure available, such as developing interpersonal skills that you promote healthy relationships. For those who struggle with the disorder, there are tried-and-true treatment options( such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy, or DBT, and Interpersonal or Relational Therapies ). In addition to these, couples counseling can be used to assist. Some people with BPD experience ongoing relationship sorrow and emotional problems over time, which makes them firmly believe that love and devotion are out of reach. Try not to accept that as true. People can obtain these priceless items, including those with borderline personality disorder; all they need is dedication to therapy and patient partners.

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