Associations and Borderline Personality Disorder

Problem from the Reader

Although my neurologist acknowledges that I exhibit many of the signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder, I have avoided romantic relationships because I am aware that they would be disastrous. Is it impossible for me to own BPD if I’m not in a marriage?

Psychologist’s Response

Not being in a loving marriage does not preclude you from having borderline personality disorder. Relationships can be severely impacted by BPD, but this character condition is also accompanied by a number of other significant signs. The signs can range from mild to severe, but they typically include an unstable sense of self, risky or impulsive behaviors( often including things like spending, sex, suicide / self-injury, or even substance abuse ), significant mood swings, persistent emptiness, frequent outbursts of anger, and occasionally paranoia or feeling disconnected from the present. ( See the NIMH overview for more information on BPD. )

Sure facets of BPD have the potential to seriously harm a marriage. BPD sufferers frequently go through extreme, frantic attempts to avoid real or imagined rejection. Whether a loss or abandonment situation is true or only feared, people with the disorder are frequently extremely sensitive to it and devastated by it. They frequently struggle with these sentiments, which frequently result in bad behavior. For instance, they might become overly or badly unhappy if their partner is delayed for lunch or doesn’t respond to their texts promptly. Through the use of pity, grief, and rage, deceitful efforts can be made to stop the other person from leaving out of fear of being abandoned or rejected. Consistent manipulation can quickly drive their partners away, which is exactly what they wanted to avoid. High levels of mistrust can also be a result of the man with BPD’s fear of being rejected and abandoned, which may keep them from also wanting to be in relationships. Some people with BPD have also said they would prefer to be by themselves more than likely deal with those problems in a relationship.

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BPD sufferers are also more likely to experience abrupt or extreme changes in how they view other people. For their associates, who frequently wonder if they are loved or despised by them, these shifting viewpoints can be very perplexing. They frequently want to spend all of their time with their carers or romantic partners, rapidly grow attached to them, and reveal their deepest secrets early in the marriage, only to abruptly change and degrade the person. They might start to feel as though the other person doesn’t care or put enough energy into the relationship, and they might immediately develop mistrust for them. According to some studies, people with BPD exhibit brain activity patterns linked to impairments in their capacity to recognize cultural norms or alter aggressive behaviors and reactions.

Despite these problems, there is cure available, such as developing interpersonal skills that can support a strong, healthy relationship. For those who struggle with the disorder, there are tried-and-true treatment options( such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy, or DBT, and Interpersonal or Relational Therapies ). In addition to these, couples counseling can be used to aid. Many people with BPD experience ongoing relationship sorrow and emotional pain over time, which makes them firmly believe that love and dedication are out of reach. Try not to accept that. People can obtain these priceless items, including those with borderline personality disorder; all they need is dedication to treatment and patient partners.