Associations and Borderline Personality Disorder

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Problem from the Reader

Although my psychologist acknowledges that I exhibit many of the signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder, I haven’t been in any intimate relationships because I know I’d make a terrible companion. Does not being in a marriage preclude me from having BPD?

Response from a psychologist

You can still have borderline personality disorder even if you haven’t been in a loving marriage. Relationships can be severely impacted by BPD, but this personality disorder is also accompanied by a number of other significant signs. The signs can range from mild to severe, but they typically include an unstable sense of self, risky or impulsive behaviors( often including spending, sex, suicide / self-injury, or even substance abuse ), significant mood swings, persistent emptiness, frequent outbursts of anger, and occasionally paranoia or feeling disconnected from the present. ( See the NIMH overview for more information on BPD. )

Sure BPD symptoms have the potential to seriously harm a marriage. BPD sufferers frequently make furious, extreme attempts to prevent actual or imagined abandonment. Whether the loss and abandonment are real or only feared, people with the problem are frequently extremely vulnerable and heartbroken by the feelings that accompany them. They frequently struggle with these sentiments, which frequently result in bad behavior. For instance, they might become excessively or improperly unhappy if their partner is delayed for lunch or doesn’t respond to their texts promptly. Through the use of sorrow, grief, and rage, deceptive efforts can be made to stop the other person from leaving out of fear of being abandoned or rejected. Consistent use can quickly drive their partners away, which is exactly what they wanted to avoid. High levels of mistrust can also be a result of the man with BPD’s fear of being rejected and abandoned, which may keep them from also wanting to be in relationships. Some people with BPD have actually admitted that they would prefer to be by themselves rather than potentially deal with those problems in a relationship.

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People with BPD are also more likely to experience abrupt or serious changes in how they view other people. For their companions, who frequently wonder if they are loved or despised by them, these shifting viewpoints can be very perplexing. They frequently want to spend all of their time with their romantic partners or caregivers, rapidly grow attached to them, and reveal their deepest secrets early in the marriage before abruptly changing and devaluing the people. They might start to feel that the other person doesn’t care or place enough energy into the relationship, and they might rapidly grow suspicious of them. According to some studies, people with BPD exhibit patterns of brain activity linked to impairments in their capacity to recognize cultural norms or alter aggressive behaviors and reactions.

Despite these problems, there is cure available, such as developing interpersonal skills that you promote healthy relationships. For those who struggle with the disorder, there are tried-and-true treatment options( such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy, or DBT, and Interpersonal or Relational Therapies ). In addition to these, couples counseling can be used to assist. Some people with BPD experience ongoing relationship sorrow and emotional problems over time, which makes them firmly believe that love and devotion are out of reach. Try not to accept that as true. People can obtain these priceless items, including those with borderline personality disorder; all they need is dedication to therapy and patient partners.

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